Don't Give Up
by morganaDW
Summary: 1-shot. The worry of not finding a cure in time has kept both Winchesters on edge until the night when Dean awakens to something he hasn't in a long time and he must not only reassure his brother but himself that he won't give up the fight while also realizing the one thing he had given up wasn't good for either of them. (Wincest)


**Don't Give Up**

Summary: _1-shot. The worry of not finding a cure in time has kept both Winchesters on edge until the night when Dean awakens to something he hasn't in a long time and he must not only reassure his brother but himself that he won't give up the fight while also realizing the one thing he had given up wasn't good for either of them. (Wincest) _

Warnings: _Probably some language as well as the usual mildly explicit content for this type of story._

Pairings: _Dean/Sam_

Tags/Spoilers: _It's not tagged to any episode thought it's set after The Book of the Damned and will contain some spoilers._

Disclaimer: _I own nothing._

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A slow light touch trailing down over Dean Winchester's jaw woke him from a sound sleep. Instinct had the hunter's senses on high and he nearly went to grab whoever or whatever was touching him before it suddenly clicked who this was and what was happening and Dean made himself stay perfectly still.

The touch was light, like a child's finger trailing over his face and in some ways that's what Dean could look at this as except his brother wasn't a child but Dean knew Sam's touch was feather light to avoid waking him.

His brother had started doing this, tracing his face, when he'd been little and Dean was being sent to school for the first time. The night after his first day he'd woken up to little fingers trailing over his face. It took a week of this before Dean mentioned it to their Dad who's merely chuckled as he explained.

"He's scared you're going to go to school and not come back so I think this is Sam's way of trying to remember your face," John Winchester had said. "You did that to me when you were a baby and to your Mom. You even did it to Sam when we first brought him home so it must be something you boys do."

Dean guessed that made sense. The next time Sam traced his face was a week before the final blow up between him and John and Sam left for college. They'd already crossed the fragile line from brothers to lovers a year before but still had to be careful when their Dad was around so the first night Dean snapped awake to the feel of fingertips touching his face he almost overreacted until he realized with a shock that Sam wasn't awake.

Every night for that week Dean would wake up to his brother touching his face and once Sam had finished tracing it he'd simply move back to his own bed and stayed there the rest of the night.

Those times were never mentioned between them. Dean wouldn't because he never wanted to possibly breach his own no chick flick moments rule and because Sam seemed to have been asleep while doing it he wasn't even certain his younger brother would remember it so he'd left it alone.

The next time had been the time leading up to Dean's deal coming due when he would once again wake up to Sam running his fingers over his face. That time he'd carefully caught the wrist to hold it still until Sam seemed to snap awake and stared at him.

"Why?" Dean had asked while pressing the shaking hand against his own heart so Sam could feel that he was still with him.

"Because I…I don't want to forget you if I can't break your deal," Sam had said softly, voice and eyes all emotion. "I want to burn the image of your face into my mind so that even with pictures when I close my eyes I'll see you as you are now."

Dean had spent so much of that year pretending to not care that he was going to Hell that he'd lost so much time with his brother; he also hadn't seen how much he'd failed Sam and in so many ways until it was too late.

That last night at Bobby's, before they'd left to try their last ditch effort plan, they laid in one bed upstairs in the room they'd always shared at Bobby's house and just touched one another. No sex, no hot petting or anything but slow gentle touches as Dean understood the need to burn the image of Sam's face into his own mind. It had been that image that had kept him from breaking for as long as he had…until Alastair finally hit his weak spot.

When he'd gotten out of hell, despite the bitterness between them over Ruby, along with Dean's pain and nightmares there were nights he wake up to hesitant fingers brushing down his jaw as if Sam needed to be sure he was real and actually there and Dean had let him because he'd needed to feel Sam just as badly to be sure he was really out of hell.

Sam had done the same thing right after he'd gotten his soul back and then right after Dean's return from Purgatory.

Now as Dean stayed still with his eyes closed to feel Sam's fingertips brushing along his jaw, very lightly over his closed eyes, his lips until he'd repeated that process about four times. It was only then that Dean began to hear his brother's voice whispering softly and what he was saying nearly broke him as much as what Sam used to say before his deal came due.

"Don't give up, Dean. Please don't give up. I'll find a way to cure this, to cure you. Just don't give up. I can't do this without you. I won't do this without you."

Pretending to be asleep wasn't easy but the moment the first tear fell to hit his face Dean's eyes were opening while catching the hand that had just gone to pull back.

"I said I wasn't giving up and I won't," Dean murmured, voice huskier than normal from emotions he'd rather not face right then while taking the hand he was holding to press it over his beating heart. "I won't give up, Sam. But there will come a time when I'm too dangerous to be around and when that day comes…you remember me for who I am now and not for that bastard I may well become again."

Slipping his other hand up to touch his brother's face, Dean forced a smile as he repeated Sam's process of tracing his face. "This is what I will remember, little brother. I will remember you and me in every stage of our lives. Good and bad I will remember but what I will remember before I lose this fight is you right now and every day and night until that moment comes. Now promise me that you won't give up?"

"On you? Never. On doing this crap without you? I…I don't think I can do that," Sam said, swallowing as he eased back to allow Dean to sit up on his bed.

For a long moment they merely looked at one another as if gauging each other before Dean's hand reached to slide his fingers around to the back of Sam's neck to bring his brother closer to him. "We'll work on the one and hope you don't have to do the other," he said before letting his lips settle against Sam's in a slow kiss that he felt his brother return a little hesitantly.

Ever since Dean realized the Mark of Cain was having effects on him every once and a while he'd pulled back from Sam, keeping their activities centered on hunting and off of hot sex; not a decision that either Winchester cared for but Dean would rather pull back than possibly hurt Sam if he lost control.

That night Dean decided all he wanted to do was remove that haunted look from his brother's face and knew the best way to do that.

Unlike other times they made love or fooled around where Dean enjoyed seeing how long it took to make Sam blush with his well learned skill of talking filthy to him, this time as he moved to his knees while beginning the slow process of removing Sam's t-shirt barely any words were spoken between them.

Sam's t-shirt dropped to the floor beside Dean's bed and he let his fingertips tease over his brother's chest, down his stomach before drawing the younger man into his arms fully to share slow kisses, loving touches while undressing one another.

Sam wasn't sure exactly what was happening. He hadn't expected sex that night or at all until they cured Dean so by the time they'd gotten most of their clothes off and he gasped as he was laid back with a gentleness that nearly had him questioning to make sure this really was his brother and not something else in his place because while Dean could go slow he was rarely ever this slow much less this quiet.

He was tempted but then thought better of it and merely met each touch, each kiss with one of his own. The Mark of Cain, the possibility of what it was doing or would do to Dean if they couldn't find a way to remove it or the other dangers to come were put aside for that moment.

Right then there was no impending doom or demons, or angels, or anything to do with hunting or fighting for their lives or souls or anything like they'd been facing the last 10 years.

This was about the two of them. This was about giving Sam all that he could for as long as he could. It was about erasing the tired shadows of worry in his little brother's eyes and seeing them go to nearly all pupil by the time he was done opening him slowly with his fingers; fingers that he'd let Sam suck on to get them slick with spit because Dean enjoyed watching Sam's face during that act as well.

When Dean did speak it was low, throaty and usually only a word or two or the nickname he knew would make Sam smile because it was just between them and only when they were close like this.

He had Sam shivering with need by the time he'd worked up to three fingers and figured he could get Sam off on just his fingers brushing that spot inside him and his other hand on his cock while they shared deeper and now hotter kisses; lips and tongues playing, teasing one another until Dean slid between Sam's legs to nudge them up until his brother got the hint and grabbed for his ankles to hold them.

Dean knew he could've motioned and Sam would've rolled over or gotten to his knees but at times like this, when the emotions were high or he wanted to see his brother's face when he came, they'd stay with Sam on his back.

He suspected it wouldn't take either of them long to climax but Dean would hold back as long as he could to make sure Sam got off first.

Sam's eyes were now locked on Dean's as he felt his brother's cock squeeze and slowly slide up inside him with each roll of Dean's hips until they were flush and Dean was leaning closer to him with his arms supporting him.

"Love you, baby boy," Dean murmured in a voice that was deeper than usual. It was tight with emotions that were not easy for him to express normally but always came easier during sex or when they were just holding one another. "Remember that?"

"Yeah, I will," Sam replied on a moan as his prostate was hit dead on and his already dripping, angry looking cock jumped with a need that Sam felt as well. "Just…don't give up until we find the cure?" he asked while catching Dean's mouth in a hot kiss as their bodies soon found a rhythm to move in that suited both men. "Need you to fight it."

Dean licked over Sam's parted lips teasingly before letting his lips move along his brother's face as if to trace it with his mouth instead of his fingers this time. "I'll fight the mark, Sammy," he promised huskily, lips sliding along Sam's ear to gently take the bottom of his sensitive earlobe between his teeth to tug it gently. "I'll fight it and whatever else comes…for you…for us and after this mess is over, you and I are going back to our roots."

"The family business," Sam nodded and hoped it would be that simple. "Dean…mmm…I…I need to mhmm," he groaned into this next kiss because Dean's tongue plunge deep to play as his hips began to thrust with just enough force to make sure his cock hit Sam's prostate solidly with each move.

Dean moved one hand so he could wrap his fingers around Sam's needy cock, beginning a steady, smooth stroking from base to tip with a touch that he'd learned his brother enjoyed over the years.

He could feel Sam's body tightening around his own cock as their kisses heated more until he felt those tight and hot inner muscles suddenly clamp around him at the same time as Sam's body shuddered a moment before he felt hot come spill over his hand as well as both of their stomachs and Sam's chest and Dean's lips curved into a slow sexy smile.

"Love you, little brother," Dean whispered against Sam's mouth and then felt himself fall over the edge as his own orgasm hit him.

The next moments in the bedroom were quiet except for soft sounds that mostly went unheard by either brother. Sam's focus was watching the way Dean's face changed, softened until all the hard tense lines were gone from his ruggedly handsome face and almost looked young and relaxed like he had been before too much crap crashed into their lives.

It never failed to hit Sam at times like this; when he saw Dean with his guard down and knew he was only like that with him. That he was the only person in his brother's life right then or maybe ever that he trusted fully to let the touch guy shell down around.

Sam moved one hand up to run a finger down Dean's face, tracing his jawline when deep and intense green eyes locked on his as his brother eased his hand away from Sam's cock to lower himself until their chests touched and lips brushed in a soft loving kiss.

"Okay?" Dean let his arms support most of his weight as he let them settle, bodies cooling but when he felt Sam's arms move up to wrap around him the older Winchester chuckled and shook his head. "Before you want to sleep or cuddle…not that we're cuddling or anything, let me move and wipe us off because neither one of us want to end up stuck together in the morning."

"Maybe I do," Sam muttered but had learned that lesson years ago so with an unhappy sigh he moved his arms so Dean could ease out of him but instead of going to the shower room for a rag his brother merely grabbed one of their t-shirts to do the job for the moment.

Usually after sex, they slept together but even since the Mark began making him have nightmares and Dean feared waking up and possibly reacting badly so Sam thought this night would be the same. He'd offered a small smile after his chest and stomach were wiped clean of come to watch his brother do the same while pulling his discarded sleep pants back on. "Thanks…for…well…this," he suddenly felt as awkward as he had at 17 and they'd finished making love and Sam was unsure what to say or do. "I'll…see you in the…huh?"

Sam had just started to stand when fingers wrapped around his wrist and then giving a not so subtle tug that put Sam back on the bed with Dean leaning over him.

"Where you going, little brother?" he asked even though it didn't surprise Dean that Sam thought he might not be welcome to spend the night. "Tell me one time after we had made love that you didn't spend the night in my bed or your bed usually since we seemed to make a mess out of my bed before we started just getting rooms with one bed."

Sam blinked in surprise. "Never," he admitted softly. "I just didn't know if you'd want me…"

"I want you, Sammy. Don't ever think I don't," Dean told him, voice husky while he laid down to let a sleepy and now relaxing Sam to turn into his arms more. "I worry about hurting you in my sleep for the same reason I worried after I got back from Hell and Purgatory," he slipped his fingers up to card them through damp long dark hair to feel his brother lift his head to look at him. "I'm raw, Sam. I'm raw and this damn Mark puts me on an edge that I've never felt before. I swore not to let it hurt you so…"

"I think I'm prepared to take that risk. I'm not 17 or 22 anymore, Dean," Sam remarked while silently wishing they could both go back to those times when the worst damn thing back then were ghosts and normal monsters. "I can take care of myself and…I want to wake up with you for as long as I can; if you want me in here."

Their eyes met for a silent moment before Dean simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak right then. His one arm slipped around to wrap around Sam's shoulders while his free hand guided his brother's head to the one spot between his neck and shoulder; the spot that Sam had always gravitated to even as a kid when they shared a bed for other reasons.

"You're the only person I will ever want or allow in here with me," he finally said after several moments of silence.

Dean had watched Sam settle against his chest, eyes heavy from it being late and then what they'd just done so he knew his brother was tired and fighting it. "Go to sleep, Sammy," he whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of his brother's hair to see Sam's lips curl in a sleepy smile before mumbling something almost too soft to hear but Dean still caught it. "Yeah, I'll make waffles from scratch when we wake up and…I love you too."

The last words were whispered back as the hunter stayed awake for another few moments to watch his brother sleep before glancing to the mark on his arm. "I will not give up," he said to the now silent room before finally letting his eyes close and slept peacefully for the first time since realizing what he was facing.

**The End**


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